40 weeks and 5 days

And still no baby. It is becoming glaringly obvious to me at this point that he just isn't going to come on his own. I cannot explain how much this breaks my heart. I know most people do not understand this, but I wanted him to make his own appearance so very badly. I have a doctor's appointment in about 3 hours, so we'll see if there has at least been any progress, but honestly, I am not counting on any. While I definitely feel increased pressure and more cramps, they don't seem to be anywhere near to the point where a baby could come at any time. I also have yet to lose my mucus plug to my knowledge - TMI I know. It's like his due date arrived and no one gave him the memo.

I'm so over this. I cannot sleep anymore. I might sleep in 2 hour stretches if I am lucky, some nights I don't sleep at all. And then last night, for the first time in a very long time, I started freaking out about the actual birth. What have I gotten myself into!? Another reason I really, REALLY don't want to be induced, just sitting around a hospital all day waiting for him to come. Just waiting.