Quick update

This will be brief, they gave me some ambien to help me sleep and I cannot really see what I am typing. This tray is up too high at the hospital.

We checked in around 5pm. Around 6:15 they had the Cervidil in. That was no fun, no sir. Nurse said I was a good 2cms but closer to 3cms. About 50% effaced. Have the baby heart rate monitor hooked up as well as the contraction monitor. Interesting to watch. I am not in active labor but my contractions are around every 6 minutes or so.

We've been watching tv and the monitors since they are rather fascinating. No food or drink after midnight. They will wake me up around 6am to get the cervidil out then start the Pitocin thirty minutes later.

MawMaw and PeePaw came to visit, which was nice. We will be seeing them more later on.

I have to get off this, it is messing up the monitors, picking up my heartbeat ad not his. Blah, hopefully can update later.

40 weeks and 5 days

And still no baby. It is becoming glaringly obvious to me at this point that he just isn't going to come on his own. I cannot explain how much this breaks my heart. I know most people do not understand this, but I wanted him to make his own appearance so very badly. I have a doctor's appointment in about 3 hours, so we'll see if there has at least been any progress, but honestly, I am not counting on any. While I definitely feel increased pressure and more cramps, they don't seem to be anywhere near to the point where a baby could come at any time. I also have yet to lose my mucus plug to my knowledge - TMI I know. It's like his due date arrived and no one gave him the memo.

I'm so over this. I cannot sleep anymore. I might sleep in 2 hour stretches if I am lucky, some nights I don't sleep at all. And then last night, for the first time in a very long time, I started freaking out about the actual birth. What have I gotten myself into!? Another reason I really, REALLY don't want to be induced, just sitting around a hospital all day waiting for him to come. Just waiting.

Full term tomorrow!

Well, one more day and Henry will be 40 weeks. Hard to believe, but at the same time it feels I've been pregnant forever. It looks like our little boy is going to be late. We went to the doctor yesterday and found out that there had been no progress made since my last appointment. I still seem to be fairly high, well rather HENRY is rather high, and I'm just about a centimeter dilated. No effacement yet. Soooo the doctor went ahead and scheduled me for inducement. I'd go into the hospital Thursday evening for the Cervidal or however you spell it and then the Pitocin would start the next morning at 6am, roughly. This would be May 7th.

I really, really do not like the idea of choosing my son's birthday. I know technically I am not choosing it, but ever since I came to grips with this pregnancy, I've always just assumed he would come on his own, when he is ready. I knew he'd be late. I was, Jason was, just seemed likely, especially being the first, but it never occured to me that'd he'd be late enough to need to be induced. I am keeping every bone in my body crossed in hopes that he will come before then. This weekend would be nice.

Every day I wake up thinking maybe today will be the day - well rather I stay up way too late, not able to sleep, thinking wow this might be a super stupid idea because what if my water broke RIGHT NOW and I had gotten no sleep? But the other half of my brain is telling me he won't come that day, not yesterday, not today, not tomorrow, because I haven't felt any huge progress. I've had some cramps but they aren't enough to make me go WOW LABOR!! That and I have not had any other signs that he was on his way other than dropping. He still isn't all the way dropped from what I gather, but he's definitely lower than he use to be.

I cannot really accurately describe the feeling of just sitting here waiting for my life to completely and irrevocably change forever. It is exciting and terrifying all at once. I keep thinking there is no way I am ready for this. I get scared out of my mind, but then I have to remind myself that I am not the only new mother out there and that I have a very supportive husband. I am so lucky to have the man I do for the father of my child.

I think we are pretty much ready for him to get here. Clothes all washed, bags packed, for the most part, save a few toiletrie items that have to wait. Maybe he will take me totally by surprise and just decide to come, out of no where. I'd love for him to come today - my doctor is on call and would be able to deliver him. What are the odds of this happening? Slim to none. BTW I think almost all of the self induction methods are bull. There are only a few that I can see that would actually help. Most of them are just old wives tales, which makes me sad because I want him here NOW!